Fatherhood Adventures – January 20, 2017

Fatherhood Adventures – January 20, 2017
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Sunday morning was an eventful one around our house.

As we were getting ready for church, Beckett confirmed the stomach bug he had the day before was still with him.

We pushed him to come to church because it was to be a special day for Carson as he was to be presented, along with others, his first bible.

When we got to church, Pam and Carson headed up to the sanctuary while Beckett said he had to use the bathroom. It turns out he and I never made to the service because he got sick again.

In hindsight, we shouldn’t have forced him to go, but he has proven over the years to be quick at rebounding from an illness. This particular bout was too much to overcome in a single day, much to his chagrin because he had to miss a soccer game as well as a planned sleepover.

When Beckett is sick, he gets depressed a little. Once he accepts he can’t change the way he feels, his entire personality changes. Gone is his typical zeal and excitable approach to life. He’s a driven and self-motivated child, but not when he’s sick. He just goes all in on being down and out. He stays under the covers most of the time and never asks for anything. He’s just content napping or watching television. He’s an excellent patient but it’s remarkable how out of character he is when he’s not well.

Since I missed Carson getting presented with his bible in church, I had to rely on photos and Pam’s recounting of the brief ceremony.

Although I would have loved to have been there, it sounds like all I missed was Carson again showing his inability to be in the spotlight at all. He just can’t stand being the center of attention.

While he accepted his bible, his fright in front of people was evident, as he did so while trying to seemingly climb inside his mom’s skin and burying his head. He gets embarrassed and scared before crowd.

When they got home, and I had already seen photos of his reaction at this point, I asked how it went and asked him to show me his bible. He ran away toward some toys as the embarrassment he was feeling was still fresh evidently.

A couple days later, he finally did show me his new bible.

When you are around your kids every day, you don’t notice their changes and growth.

It usually takes someone outside the nuclear family, such as a hair dresser, as was the case this week, to remark on it before you think about it in any sort of depth.

It’s that sort of reminder that has you taking double takes of them. As I stand next to my oldest son now, I realize he’s now starting to approach my shoulders in height. I marvel over that and then recognize that his little brother is now less than a head shorter than him.

That led to the measuring wall trim we have been using off our kitchen to monitor their height since they were born. It’s going to be a wonderful keepsake, especially Carson’s who has smeared many of his height markings by repeatedly backing up against it with wet hair over the years. He has been told so many times to stop that I think he does it for spite now. That is until it comes to figuring out how much he has grown in one year, two years and so on.

It’s not just in their obvious physical stature. It’s in so many other parts of life. At one point in the living room this week it hit home how much things are changing. We must embrace the times we are living in, rather than fretting over so many other things in life that consume our thoughts and prayers and cloud our outlook.

As Pam was working with Carson on his spelling words for the week (she starts with having him sign them for memory purposes), I was working with Beckett on memorizing his three-paragraph black belt oath for an upcoming session.

It was serious business. If he didn’t have it memorized by Thursday of this week, he would not be eligible to test in early June. It was one of many steps along the way in this journey toward his four-year goal — to become a black belt in tae kwon do.

It took him awhile to memorize it because it’s lengthy and contains many words and phrases he was unfamiliar with for the most part, including “indomitable spirit,” “high moral code,” “dignity,” “humility,” “spiritual growth” and “privilege.”

It’s during these moments when he’s tested and pushed that he reveals this internal motivation to succeed. He is impassioned by a tremendous fear of failure. I don’t know if it’s the embarrassment, not wanting to let his parents down or the goal of rising to meet a challenge that motivates him.

As he often does, Beckett doesn’t give us much time to compliment him. Rather, after he nailed it Wednesday, he grabbed his black belt binder out of my hand and started spinning it on his pointer finger.

“After getting my black belt, I want to try out for the Globetrotters,” he said as it fell to the ground. “Let’s go practice.”

About The Author: Steven Green

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The writer has been with The Dispatch in various capacities since 1995, including serving as editor and publisher since 2004. His previous titles were managing editor, staff writer, sports editor, sales account manager and copy editor. Growing up in Salisbury before moving to Berlin, Green graduated from Worcester Preparatory School in 1993 and graduated from Loyola University Baltimore in 1997 with degrees in Communications (journalism concentration) and Political Science.